


i just keep on coming back to you

by literato



Series: Song Fics [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blowjobs, Cheating, Infidelity, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 01:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literato/pseuds/literato
Summary: “I tried to stop, alright?” Louis says through gritted teeth, “Dozens of times, even before I met El.” Louis is admittedly a fucking loser when it comes to Harry, “But..” Louis falters.“Don’t you love El?”“I..” Louis pauses, “I do. Of course I do, Liam.”oran au inspired by Louis Tomlinson's Back To You





	i just keep on coming back to you

**Author's Note:**

> I know i know, i should be updating 'learning to love' but im currently so busy with reviewing for upcoming exams and i've had this one written weeks ago. This can stall you guys for a lil bit.
> 
> NOTE: This doesn't necessarily interpret Back To You, obviously, but y'know. I wanted to write the plot so I did.

_I know you say you know me well, but these days I don’t even know myself._

  
“Bathroom.” Is Harry’s simple text. Louis looks up from his phone and sees Harry get up from his seat, excusing himself as he straightens out his jacket. The man then turns and heads for the bathroom with his usual grace. He didn’t even spare a single glance towards Louis.

  
Louis shoves his phone in his pocket with a grumble, closing his eyes. Despite the loud music and the whoever the hell is being awarded on stage, Louis’ focus is on Harry’s body, which probably will forever be etched into his mind.

  
He breathes out slowly before he turns to Eleanor, “Love, I’m gonna grab us a drink.” It’s a shitty excuse, because they all know there are servers and waiters around here. But Louis doesn’t let Eleanor point it out and he’s out of his seat.

  
He reaches the bathroom through another route, and the moment he knocks on the door, it swings open before he’s being pulled in.

  
“Knew you’d come.” Harry roughly says, nosing the length of Louis’ neck. He unbuttons the first button of Louis’ button up so he can pull the collar to the side.

  
“Haz, no—“ Louis gasps as Harry’s lips attach to his neck, sucking and licking, “No marks.” He weakly protests, but his hand raises up to hook at the back of Harry’s neck to pull him closer, “Fuck..”

  
“You can’t stop, can’t you?.” Harry chuckles. He pulls away and wipes his mouth, “Even with your pretty girlfriend sitting right beside you.”

  
“Shut up.” Louis leans forward to kiss Harry. Harry smiles against his lips and kisses him back, hands tight around Louis’ waist.

  
_I always thought I’d be with someone else. I thought I would own the way I felt._

  
Louis pulls away and Harry makes a sound in his throat, protesting. Louis gives him one last kiss before he drops down to his knees. Harry moans at that, helping Louis fumble with his belt before pushing it down to his thighs.

  
Louis fists Harry’s length. It’s already dripping, and Louis pokes his tongue out to lick at the head. Harry mewls from above him.

  
The thought of being caught burns in Louis’ mind, the image of Eleanor finding them there with teary eyes and a broken heart. Still, Louis doesn’t stop. He _can’t_. It’s like he has no control of his actions. He’s all Harry’s.

  
_I call you but you never even answer._

  
When Harry comes, it’s the first time Louis looks up at him since this bathroom shenanigan started. Harry fists Louis’ hair, keeping him down as he does little thrusts lf his hips. Louis swallows it all, and he breathes deeply as Harry pulls out. He stays on his knees, chest heaving.

  
Harry pulls his pants up before helping Louis to his feet. He reaches behind him for some tissues so he can wipe at Louis’ mouth.

  
“Harry.” Louis says, and he hates how rough his voice sounds. Harry doesn’t meet his gaze. Instead, he busies himself with fixing Louis’ hair. Louis continues, “This needs to stop.”

  
Harry’s hand drop to his sides, “And you’ve said that for so many times.” He steps back, “Yet here we are.” He exits the bathroom then, leaving Louis.

  
_I tell myself I’m done with wicked games._

  
The door clicks behind Liam, and Harry practically jumps off the couch to tackle Louis, who gasps as Harry’s lips once again sucked a bruise on his neck.

  
“Harry.” Louis clenches his eyes shut. He can’t. He has to stop this. He tries so hard to push him off. Thankfully this time, his body cooperates. He shoves Harry back as hard as he can, and the latter stumbles against the wall.

  
“Harry...” Louis breathes out.

  
_But then I get so numb with all the laughter that I forget about the pain._

  
Harry rubs at the sore part of his head, wincing as he presses on it slightly. He then feels Louis’ hands on his face, angling it slightly to the side, “’M sorry.” murmurs Louis, and lips press to Harry’s temple.

  
Harry turns his head to the side and kisses Louis. The latter doesn’t even hesitate before kissing back. He rises to his toes and wraps his arms around Harry’s neck, “I’m sorry.” He whispers as he pulls away slightly.

  
Harry feels warmth spread around in his chest, but then it’s filled with dread, “Sorry you’ll leave or sorry you hit my head?” He almost doesn’t want to know the answer. Despite the admittedly shitty situation they’re in, Harry can’t bear to lose Louis.

  
Silence stretches between them, and Harry calms his nerves by nuzzling his face against Louis’ neck. It’s kind of his safe place. Eventually, Louis’ fingers softly strokes Harry’s hair and doesn’t say anything, just holds Harry tighter.

Harry knows, then.

  
_I know my friends they give me bad advice, like move on, get you out my mind._

  
“So.” Liam says. He’s sat on the arm of couch right across from Louis, his arms crossed. It’s bad timing, really, really bad timing.

  
Louis, for the first time, squirms under Liam’s stern gaze, “So..”

  
“What was that about?” Liam stands up, pacing back and forth, “You two were... you were practically fucking on the wall!” Liam points an arm towards the said wall as if it’s been infected.

  
Louis hates his tone, and _where the fuck is Harry?_ “What if we were Liam?” He snaps.

  
“I thought..” Liam sits back down. He looks so conflicted, “I thought you two were over.”

  
Louis runs a hand through his hair, “Didn’t even know when we started.”

  
“Louis, you have a girlfriend.” Liam emphasizes, “What if she finds out you’re fucking your ex?”

  
“She won’t.” Louis almost snarls.

  
_But don’t you think I haven’t even tried. You got me cornered and my hands are tied._

  
“Louis, this is a bad idea.” Liam says, trying to shake some sense into his best mate, “You’re gonna get the two of them hurt eventually, even yourself.”

  
“I tried to stop, alright?” Louis says through gritted teeth, “Dozens of times, even before I met El.” Louis is admittedly a fucking loser when it comes to Harry, “But..” Louis falters.

  
“Don’t you love El?”

  
“I..” Louis pauses, “I do. Of course I do, Liam.”

  
“Good to know.”

  
Louis turns to see Harry standing on the doorway, an icepack pressed into the back of his bed. Louis stands then, heart hammering, “Harry.”

  
_You stress me out, you kill me._

  
“Harry.” Louis practically hisses into the phone as he walks out of Eleanor’s earshot. She’s currently making dinner, and Louis’ not risking the chance of her hearing Harry fucking moaning into his ear.

  
“Louis.” Harry groans particularly loud, and Louis curses as he quickly goes to his and Eleanor’s room, shutting the door behind him. Meanwhile, his

pants are continuously tightening, “ _F-Fuck_ , Lou.. need you.. feels so good.”

  
“What are you doing?” Louis tries to be demanding, but it comes off as breathy.

  
Harry releases a shaky breath, “Thinking of you.” The slick sounds become faster, and Louis doesn’t know if he’s fucking himself or fucking his fist, but either, it doesn’t fail to make Louis sweat.

  
“Fuck—“ Louis grips his own hair, fighting the urge to pull down his pants, “H, you sound so good, babe.”

  
Harry whimpers, “So close, Louis. God, Lou.”

  
Louis curses at himself as he presses his palm on his crotch, but as he begins to push his pants down, a knock on the door sounds.

  
_You drag me down, you fuck me up._

  
Harry slows his fist down as he hears Louis’ silence. His chest is still heaving and his hand doesn’t stop stroking.

  
“Lou?” He asks. He hears muffled voices through the line. As soon as he hears Eleanor’s voice, his hand stops and he pulls his hand away.

  
“El, really. Just—“ Louis says in quite a frantic tone, but then shuffling is heard.

  
Harry’s almost afraid to speak now, “Lou?”

  
“El, s-stop—“ Harry hears and then a girly voice is giggling before there’s a clatter. He sits up, thinking the clatter is Louis’ phone. They sound so distant, but Harry can hear moans which awfully sounds too close to Louis’. Harry feels his chest tighten and his hand practically crushes his own phone.

  
_“Shit, El.”_

  
Harry throws his phone and it slams against the wall. It clatters to the ground with its broken pieces scattered around it. Harry wraps his hands around his hair, tugging as he curls himself as small as he can get. He suddenly feels so disgusting.

  
He can’t help but think of them. As he sits here, in the darkness wet with his own tears and fucking come, the man who caused both of those things is fucking someone else— _loving_ someone else. And Harry sobs, tears dripping down his cheeks and dripping on his duvet.

  
He’s always thought that him and Louis can have another chance. He always thought of that possibility. But now he’s slowly slipping from that absurd idea of his only wish. He loved Louis. He loves Louis and he’ll probably spend the rest of his life doing so. Fuck, he’s so pathetic.

  
_We’re on the ground, we’re screaming. I don’t know how to make it stop._

  
“You haven’t called me.” Louis says firmly as he grabs Harry’s elbow to stop the man from retreating. They just finished a show, and all night Harry hasn’t even glanced his way. Louis could only drag them to the loo.

  
“I didn’t.” Harry confirms, face towel in hand as he wipes his sweaty face and neck. Louis shouldn’t get distracted.

  
Instead, he crosses his arms, demanding, “Why?”

  
Harry chuckles humorlessly, “Did I need to?”

  
Louis feels himself heat up from embarrassment. He clears his throat and looks away, “Nevermind, then.”

  
_I love it._

  
Harry watches as Louis try to step around him, eyes lowered down. Usually, when they had fights, Louis would overpower him, just from his eyes. But now the man himself can’t even look at him.

  
Harry grasps Louis’ hand and trails it to his shoulder, touch light until he gets a firm grip on the back of his neck. He steps closer, their foreheads pressing against each other, “Don’t leave.”

  
_I hate it._

  
“We don’t need to do this anymore, you know?” Louis says, almost a whisper like he’s still contemplating the weight of it. He doesn’t pull away.

“Is this a break up?” Harry forces out a laugh but it goes flat between them.

  
“More or less.” Louis answers. He’s still not pulling away.

  
_And I can’t take it_

  
Harry brushes their noses together softly, “Whatever you want.” He removes his hands from Louis’ body before he steps back. He shouldn’t feel so hurt by this. If anything, being with Louis hurts the most, but walking away now.. it kind of beats that.

  
He ignores the sting in his eyes as he realizes that Louis’ not going to follow him.

  
_But I keep on coming back to you_

  
Louis tosses around in his bed, aware of Eleanor hugging around his body but doing absolutely nothing to retaliate it. He tugs at his hair and sits up, heaving a deep sigh before he looks over the clock to see that it’s a little over two in the morning.

  
Louis makes a move to get out of bed when Eleanor’s arm shoot up and wrap itself around Louis’ waist loosely, and this time Louis actually takes the time to really look at her.

  
She’s asleep, face neutral and eyes closed. Her hair is quite disheveled and her body’s being swarmed by the sheets. Before, Louis would swoon at this sight of her. Now, Louis imagines someone else—someone larger, someone who has green eyes and stupid curls and stupid dimples, someone who’s driving him insanely mad these past few years.

  
Fuck, he loves Harry. He’s so fucking in love with that stupid man.

  
_I just keep on coming back to you_

  
There’s a knock on Harry’s door, followed by a dozen chimes of his doorbell. He groans and pulls himself off his bed, scratching his head. It’s two am and his body feels so heavy despite his lack of sleep. And this pesky person standing on his doorstep isn’t doing any good.

  
He scrubs one of his eyes as he peers into the peephole on the other, and all he sees is a hooded somebody. Harry sighs and unlocks the door, making a mental wish that it isn’t a murderer.

  
It isn’t. It really isn’t. Louis’ standing on his doorway, drenched in the rain and wearing a hoodie that Harry recognized as his.

  
“What are you doing here?” Harry’s surprised by how cold his voice sounds.  
Louis looks up, eyes so blue and Harry tries not to give in. He’d probably will the moment Louis opens his mouth, but he’s gotta be strong, “I...” He gulps.

  
Harry wants to hold him, “What?”

  
No words are spoken, Louis lurches forward and wraps his arms around Harry’s torso, keeping his cold nose pressed against Harry’s neck.

  
_And I guess you’ll never know all the bullshit that you put me through_

  
Louis tries not to sob as he feels the warmth of Harry’s body pressed against his cold one. He fists Harry’s shirt behind the man and his heart falls every second that Harry doesn’t hold him back.

  
“Louis.” Harry speaks, “What are you doing?”

  
_I miss you._ Louis thinks to himself, _I miss you and I love you and you’re ruining my life but I wouldn’t have it any other way._

  
“Louis.” Harry says again, and he’s not holding Louis.

  
Louis sniffles and squeezes harder before he lets go, nodding to himself. His face burns with embarrassment in contrast to the cold weather. He feels his tears so he doesn’t dare look up. He does mutter out, “Sorry.” before he turns and jogs away.

  
_And I guess you’ll never know_

  
Harry watches Louis jog away, and he grips the door harder, grounding himself. He turns, _fuck_ , he feels so weak, what the fuck. Before he knows it, he’s turning back around and running after that person. That person who always, always manages to pull him apart but still put him back together in the sickest ways.

  
But Louis left. Harry gets his clothes all wet and soaked from the rain as he searches for Louis in hopes of catching him and dramatically getting to create a heartbreaking scene under the rain.

  
Harry goes back to his flat and practically ruins his floorboard with his wet shoes.

  
_So you can cut me up and kiss me harder_

  
“You fucking. Asshole!” Eleanor shrieks, and she hauls her phone towards Louis, who pathetically shields himself with his hand as the phone hits his chest. Her fists come next, slamming on his chest and Louis doesn’t really stop her, “I trusted you! And you were cheating on me all this time!” She sobs, stopping her violent movements and she goes to rest her forehead on Louis’ shoulder.

  
“El.” Louis puts his hands on her shoulders and holds her at arms length, “I’m sorry.” He tells her with pure honesty, “But I love Harry, and obviously it hasn’t changed.”

  
He receives a hard slap on the cheek but it’s worth it, he thinks as he packs his things in a large duffel bag and drives himself away from their flat.

  
He arrives in front of Harry’s flat, hesitates so much that he ends up staying in the car for thirty more minutes before he gets the courage to actually step out and into Harry’s porch. He knocks a few times and rings the doorbell.

  
Harry answers, and he seems surprised that Louis’ once again standing in his doorway. Again, he asks, “What are you doing here?”

  
Louis surges forward and kisses him, standing on his tiptoes and keeping a hand on the back of Harry’s head and a fist holding tightly to the collar of Harry’s shirt. He almost cries into it, misses the soft touch of those lips that will only ever belong to Harry.

  
“Wha—“ Harry pulls away and his eyes are wide, an arm outstretched like he’s trying to distance himself, “What the hell, Louis?” He doesn’t sound, or look angry. He’s choked up, voice not at all demanding and his eyes hold emotions.

  
Louis runs a hand through his hair, “I left her, Harry.” Fuck, this is so difficult, “And I want to be with you in every way that I can, even if you want something more or something less. I just can’t lose you.” He takes a deep breath and hates how shaky it is, “You have to understand that.”

  
“I’m nothing to you, Louis.” Harry speaks with such finality, “You were the one who broke us up in the first place. And you were the one who left in this fucked up relationship.”

  
“And I wanted you then.” Louis answers, “I still want you now.”

  
It’s like Harry’s breath stolen from how long he stood there, but when he moves, he steps forward and kisses Louis.

  
_You can be the pill to ease the pain._

  
Harry cries into that kiss, because it’s like the first time he’s kissed Louis, even when he did more than a hundred times in his lifetime. This one’s better, and stronger. And it actually means something.

  
“I love you.” Louis whispers as he pulls away, resting his forehead against Harry’s, “I love you, then and now.”

  
Harry chuckles wetly, and his chest immediately relaxes from how tight it got earlier, “I love you, too, you idiot.”

  
“We’re both idiots.” Louis decides, brushing their noses together.

  
Cause I know I’m addicted to your drama

  
“You were..” Harry says and he pulls away more, hands resting to cup around Louis’ neck, “You came here.. a few days ago.”

  
“Ah, that.” There’s an embarrassed blush making its way on Louis’ cheeks, “Thought it’d be proper dramatic to admit my feelings in a rainy scene, so.”

  
Harry snorts and giggles.

  
_Baby, here we go again_

  
“You could’ve done that sooner.” He says, and he leans in to nibble at Louis’ ear just the way he likes, “So I could’ve fucked you seven ways to Sunday by this time.” He attaches his lips on Louis’ neck, loving the vibration of Louis’ groan as he wraps his large hands on Louis’ thighs, a silent order.

  
Louis jumps up, wrapping them around Harry’s waist, and he keeps his neck where it’s getting sucked and bitten on as he gets carried to the bedroom.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! ❤


End file.
